Hey Spirit Scholars,
Today, I tossed much of it to the wind and took my babies to the beach. The weather has not been beachy, but today it was peachy and I wanted to take advantage of it!
It was a good trip! The kids built sand castles and swam to their little hearts content. They even somehow managed to leave most of the sand at the beach instead of in the car!
Afterwards we went to Chic-Fil- A, their favorite eatery. They had ice cream cones and I had the Mint Watermelon Lemonade, which everyone is surprised that I like because I DO NOT normally do mint in my drinks or food. But Chic-Fil-A has nailed the flavor on this one. The paltry cup size they serve it in is another story!
On the way home I stopped at a Walmart to return some items that were purchased for me that I did not want. Of course while there, I picked up some items. Just a few- a bag of cherries, bunch of bananas, a small container of way overpriced salad, firm tofu and some vegetarian egg rolls. All of this was in my arms, with my children following along.
Of course Walmart has 30 registers and only 3 open and one of THOSE is the self-checkout lane, which I do not prefer to use.
So my children and I go to a “speedy” line on the far side of the store from where we entered and stood our turn. I told the children, “if this line does not move fast, mommy may be leaving these items right here!”
One said, let’s go to the self checkout, “I know how to do it” and his sibling co-signed, but when I asked if they were sure, it got a little clammy. SO I said, no we will stay here. There was more, in line frolic and after I made a statement commenting on how this line was not so speedy after all, I just so happened to turn around.
When I did a man who looked a bit younger than his gray hair suggested, asked “are youth the man in front of you?” Surprised and wondering if he had put us together because we both had nearly the same skin color, I replied, sort of surprised and sort of tickled “no.”
The man then says, “so you are just going to cut in front of me?” I was now shocked!
I had no clue this man EXISTED before I turned around in the moment I did. I had been on line a GOOD 3 minutes maybe more. I had two children behind me and two on the side with room to spare around us.
WHAT THE HECK WAS THIS MAN TALKING ABOUT?
So I said, firmly and in a voice a half octave higher than normal. “Well, obviously, I did not know. Please feel free to go ahead”. The man just stands in his same spot staring at me. So I say, “Go Ahead.” He then GLARES at me and SLOWLY moves forward.
WHAT? ISN’T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?
BUT, in the glare, I saw danger. I knew immediately in my Spirit something wasn’t right. I knew I needed to be quiet and mostly I did. BUT MY FLESH. It despised this guys accusatory tone towards me. It was vexed by his nerve. I was creeped out by his glare. I wanted to know why he would assume the worst of a perfect stranger who anyone person in their RIGHT MIND would know was completely unaware of his very being. But I don’t think he was in his right mind and he is not alone.
If this man was in line, who waits that long to tell someone? And then when invited to take their so called rightful place, does so reluctantly and with a glare? Frankly, I wanted to know why he didn’t know how stupid he was?
When he got in front of me, I told my son to create some space, because something was not right. And my son says, “how do you know?” LOL. When will these kids learn that those of us who have been around for a minute just know a thing or two.
Here’s the thing. I do not believe that man was on that line (or if he was he was uncommonly far back from the man in front of him <me> for 3 of us to easily get on line with plenty space all around us). I mean, how far back can a person be and still claim they are on line! SMH- UCK- lol!
But one thing was and is clear- the man had a problem. The scary thing is, he choose me to act out his problem with.
The glare this man gave me was like he absolutely HATED me. I was astounded! Not just because I am so nice and lovable- (laugh break)- but because it struck me so deeply how violent his expression was. I could not imagine why this man would want to cause trouble or harm.
SO I stayed silent, which was VERY uncomfortable because I had lost all respect for the man. And I very much want to let him know that I was not afraid- even if I was.
On the car ride home. I wished I could have internally responded with a through and through PEACE. But I realized one of the blessings of this unstable man was to show me where I still have to PRESS to Pursue a Higher Degree. I was thankful that I had enough Peace and Awareness to just stay quiet once I saw the dysfunction and offer him to go ahead- even if their was a note of defensiveness in the gesture.
I do believe my (best that I had available) soft answer quieted this man’s wrath and when I got home, I truly thanked God that my children and I were safe and sound.
Scholars, you do not know WHO you are dealing with in this world. I truly thank and praise God for the beautiful people in this world that add beauty to this human journey! But make no mistake about it, evil and fear abounds and its resting place is in the minds of men (women).
Never second guess yourself. If you feel anything negatively askew with another human, tap into Wisdom and respond on par with your best and highest self. This is what I told my oldest daughter, who was behind me on line during the aforementioned event (and never saw the man either). As she replayed the events when we were walking to the car, I told her, “don’t question yourself- trust yourself”. You do not have to piece it together, you KNOW, that man and that scenario wasn’t right. TRUST IT!
A story comes to my mind of a young man who was in his car and he got out of the car to say something to the driver because they ha a misunderstanding. As he was approaching the car (unarmed), the man, about 15 years his senior, shot him in the street- DEAD- FOREVER. I read that he got out to apologize. We do not know. BUT, why did the man leave the house with his gun? One has to suspect that with a gun comes a certain amount of metallic courage that one might not have otherwise. Even enough courage to provoke or at least egg on a less than pleasant situation. The young man had just found out he was invited to NFL camp. I bet there was agitation between the two of them before he was killed. I bet if he knew the outcome he would have been quiet (stayed in his car). I bet his impulse and feed off of the negative energy ushered him into his moment of terror. He didn’t recognize the danger. Worst, he did and didn’t want it to think he was afraid. Pride- cometh before a fall.
Scholars- do your work. Study your scriptures, whatever they are as long as they are in the light and love. You need to be filled up and alert! Wisdom does not come from a BLANK SLATE. She needs something to work with.
If I had not known that my tool book- the Bible says, a quiet answer softens wrath, I would have went with my flesh and let that man have a piece of my mind- New York Style!
If I had not read the 4 Agreements by Don Luis Miguel, who let me know that absolutely NOTHING anyone does to me is personal. I might have more than my pride wounded right now.
We are spiritual beings having a natural experience and some of us are broken, hurt and not well. Sadly, how those emotions manifest can be detrimental to others and many times HAVE BEEN.
If you are the ‘man at Walmart today’, Be honest with yourself and change your mind. The world is NOT against YOU (anymore than it is the rest of us). No, you are not that special to be single out. If need be- get help. Help can start with something as simple as a confession of your true feelings to someone with the aim of getting better.
I once had someone I know tell me they felt homicidal. They said it was not directed towards anyone, but that they just felt extremely angry and easily triggered all the time and gave me examples. I was disturbed and nervous about this information, but I let them talk it out. I knew that they had a leg up just by simply confessing this to me. This person is still on a journey, but better.
Stay filled up on all that exudes from love Scholars. make it a practice to meditate and be still, so that in times of trouble you will reach for the tranquility of such familiar space.
I am very glad I could pull from my reservoir of practical and spiritual Wisdom. I hope I don’t have to dive as deep next time. But I’m grateful I could stay afloat and be here to share with you beyond the aforementioned encounter.
Stay Alert, courageous and Humble Scholars,