I have never been cool and most often I do not even see why things that are “cool” even are.
There is so much I could mention about this but I will just name a few.
When I was little, hip hop or rap music was just making it’s entry into the music realm. The rhythms, mostly made by samples of other music often combined or “scratched” by a DJ was infectious and lots of fun (This was before the dawn of gangsta rap in the 1990’s- which by then rap became mainstream). Most rappers were guys and they were always so “cool” and being a New Yorker where hip hop was founded, it was an everyday occurrence to see the pre-teen and teenage boys with their boxes (radios) on their shoulders walking down the street. The bigger the box the better. Looking back, it was a really good time in the culture. I was enamored with the teens and young adults I saw in my community who had this hip hop style. And like any musical genre indeed a style was connected to the music.
Why did I like these kids and think they were cool? Well, for one they were TEENS and I was just a little kid so I just naturally looked up to them. Through them I started to recognize social currency. The “cool” kids got a lot of attention. They seemed to be in the spotlight at all times. They were dressed the best and neatly presented and had the latest of whatever was in. And the ones that stand out as coolest in my mind were also always nice to me (the little kid) probably because they could see my fascination with them!
Fast forward and I am a teen myself. I’m only in the spotlight in school and even then only through Jr. High as I started to withdraw socially in high school compared to lower school years. I certainly did not have the latest and greatest and my main interest even then was God (whom I never spoke of out loud with most people), Prayer and People. All that equals NOT COOL!
But it was a strange UNCOOL. Somehow, the cool kids would let me into their circles when I wanted and so did the misfits. I didn’t find that I fit in with either but I socialized enough with both not to be completely socially aloof. As a teen I self categorized myself as “in the middle”. But I had one of the coolest kids in the neighborhood call me a “cool nerd”. I actually thought it was a good description! I think it could even be used to describe me today albeit a bit oversimplified.
The more things change the more they stay the same- lol! As an adult, I am still UNCOOL and now even UNTAMED! lol! I have NO IDEA why things that excite people the way they do stir up such an emotion. For example, I never understood why people were so upset with the OCTOMOM for having all those children. I remember being pregnant with one of my children at that time and people were prompted by my pregnancy to bring it up, especially since I think I was on number three at the time. I remember thinking, “Why do you care what that woman does?” Some would respond, “She is spending our tax money to take care of those kids?” And I would think, “Who isn’t?”
That’s an old story but the same continues today with people following what the fake media says (Trump is right on that one- lol) and get all emotional and negative and hateful about it. I don’t get it. But here is the thing when you do not get it, you are not “in”, you are not COOL!
The media is the entity that really projects a lot of what is cool onto society and literally forms the thoughts of those who do not want to be left out or “in the middle”. Take the English Royal Family for example. Our interest died with Diana– really (I was so truly upset when she died by the way). Now every time you turn around, here in the states, they are printing something about Kate, William just the whole lot of them. WHO CARES? Why on Earth do they matter over here? It is so obvious they are trying to CREATE a story for society to hang onto and perhaps the younger generation is into it, but I find it silly and shallow to care about the goings on of old “AUTOMATIC” money.
So what prompted this post? Well it’s Thoughtful Thursday and this is what I happened to be thinking of after I read a blog (by a lady I will not mention) and right before I sat to post. In this blog, the lady has recovered from an illness and she lives part-time now in Paris!
I was interested in her story so I went to visit her blog. She posts all things Parisienne and she had me when she said she had visited 80 French bakeries! Can you say OH. MY. GOODNESS. Yum! But then she went on to talk about how to emulate Parisienne Style and Allure.
She lost me.
Time and time again we are told that Paris and Italy and other places in Europe has such great Style. Compared to what? I do not see it. Most of the time what is labeled as Style on these people looks like they got dressed in the dark! They just put anything on but with confidence. Now I will give them credit for the confidence but not the clothes or how they are put together. No. For example on her blog, she had a picture of a petite svelte young lady with a striped shirt, flowered skirt, basketball socks that came above the ankles and beige high heels. Now because I am used to this I can see why she though it was so fashion forward, but NOOOO! This girl looks a mess! And lets face it most of them do. Not to pick on the styles of these particular places because most runway models look preposterous as well. BUT Fashion and Publishing houses have made a killing because they dictate social STYLE and what is Cool! To say what I just said is to not have FINE TASTE! LOL! What rubbish.
And that’s the point! So much of what is COOL is RUBBISH! Dictated by voices outside of ourselves and changing with the literal seasons. When I was young, I kept quiet on that but now, being UNCOOL and UNTAMED and all- I acknowledge things for how I see them and do not even try to make it fit, and I am ok if I do not “fit” either. Finally.
That takes time, growth, maturation and acceptance of SELF! What is amazing now is to see how much ADULTS are still trying to keep up with the crowd and be COOL.
You see it on social media with whatever’s TRENDING, in Church’s and other groups- even the workplace! Are you older and full of adventure and life and not griping about society and your aches and pains You may be considered as “acting young” aka UNCOOL! Are you younger and mature for your age and are not into guys and gals like your peers but more into specific non mainstream disciplines. Hmm, sounds like you might not be COOL.
I know it is not easy, but do NOT be afraid to be UNCOOL! I’ve lived long enough to see that many a COOL showed themselves to be a FOOL! At the end of the day, you may not get the attention or draw the crowds, but you will have the INTEGRITY of being true to who you are and your own (inner and outer) VOICE. The voice that will lead you into and articulate or you whats COOL to and for YOU!
Be sure to share this with someone whom you see is doing their “own thing” to encourage them because it is NOT easy to leave the Pack. Also, share it with a young person who needs confidence in developing their voice!
Here’s to being UNCOOL and UNTAMED,