Tuesday’s Topic- When is enough enough?

This morning, I was thinking of some people who are very close in my life yet who are quite simply not well at least emotionally.  Now, I have always been the kind of person who let people be responsible for their own actions and words.  In other words I have never really taken peoples emotional reactions personally.  And interestingly the more emotional people become about ordinary things, the more naturally subdued I become.  Most of the time, I am not affected at all, but there are occasions where things can get scary, which means I deem there reactions to be completely disproportionate to the situation.  They are usually shocked that I hold no real offense to their actions and am willing to forgive.  Not because I am so forgiving, so to say, but really because, I never took it personal. Some emotional people can find me cold and disconnected while others find it as a source of strength for them.  Although, I am a loving person and would like for people to see my heart for what it is, neither of the perspectives matters much to me.  I am who I am.

Recently I have had two very close people lash out at me.  Both men.  Technically, I do not take what they have done personally and as usual, I move passed it.  But over the last few days I am wondering if I should?  I am a deeply loyal person so, I am not contemplating ridding these people from my life, but I am seriously wondering is it time for the relationships to change.  Neither of these men are doing anything new in the way they have behaved and I am so used to it, I just ignore it or brush it off or stay quiet for a while until, I feel better from being – well abused really.  Not physically, but still.

They battle things.  Some clinically diagnosed others not but I can see the nots as clear as day and those I can not see I feel.

Why do I mention they are men?  It is a different kind of hurt when men lash out at women or I will say ME.  I do not think most men who do this (even the ones who lash out with QUIET) realize this.

Both have poor relationships with the women in their lives.  I see that but I know they are not bad guys PLUS I know their behavior is about THEM not ME. As is the case with us ALL.  I am no saint but I KNOW I am holistically healthy- praise God. And I know that I actively strive for self betterment daily.

I know typing this it seems really obvious- Get those poison guys out of your life, right?  But how many of you know that everything is not that simple and that relationships are integrated, complex, layered and multidimensional- because PEOPLE are those things.  Plus quite simply, I love them DEEPLY.

So I don’t know, I am at a place where I can do the same old thing or I can do something different this time.  I don’t know what different will look like and that is scary but, to be quite honest it will be insane if I continue on in these relationships like this.  I feel like mentally and emotionally I am stronger than they and so therefore I can take it, but WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH?

What do you think Scholars?

And no worries, I am typing this with all sincerity but also with tea in hand looking at fresh flowers, it is WELL with my soul today:). I only get pensive when I think of the reality of my relationships with close people and I know those relationships are not healthy or up to my standards or both.  I know that this post highlights them but is about ME.  These men are teaching me about me.  I just want to get the lesson right instead of repeating the class! smh.

LIGHT and LOVE,

SHONA

ps- typing this on a new MACBOOK, so it’s super awkward and I can not put in my pretty colors, fonts and extra pics- YET!  :). I’m excited about this computer though.